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It’s been a while since I’ve been on my tumblr, but I have a lot on my chest and just need to let it out some how. Out of all the crazy things that have happened in my life, I didn’t expect things coming. They’re the most important parts of my life. To know that everything’s falling apart breaks my heart.. To see my brother break down and cry because he is still young that it affects him to the point where it seems as if he’s giving up on school, not going to school for the past two days. These past four days have been so hard.. I don’t know where it’s heading towards. They both look lost, they’re never in the same room anymore & I can’t look at her the same. I love her, I do.. but it’s just so hard to see what she’s done, to see how long he had to cope with everything. I feel so helpless to see him sleep on the couch & not be able to be himself anymore. It’s falling apart.. I don’t want anyone to leave.. I want my brother to feel as if he doesn’t have to choose one or the other. I don’t want him to feel as if he has to take care of one of them separately. It’s as if the whole world has crashed.. I can no longer concentrate on school work, its effected me.. I feel as if I have to carry the weight, make sure that everything is okay.. But really, i’m tearing apart.. I don’t know what’s going to happen with us. I don’t know how much longer he can handle sleeping on the couch & feeling the emptiness in him. I don’t want him to feel that way. I don’t want either of them to feel neglected. Yes, I know that one of them did wrong, but they’re two big parts of my life and I can’t take either of them for granted. I don’t know what’s going to happen.. I don’t understand what made her do it for so long. Fuck..


